The current demo abruptly ends just as it was about to get started, which is very unfortunate, since the premise appeals even to those of us who do not enjoy authors like Jane Austen.
Given its length (short) and status (hiatus), it feels odd to give feedback, even though it was explicitly requested. Specifically, you asked for feedback on where the MC comes across as too feminine, what additional choices would allow better representation, and whether anything was ignorant:
The eagerness to go above and beyond in terms of self-isolating, social distancing and masking outdoors in response to some government warnings, is laid on so thick that it's jarring.
There isn't a single STEM-major among the choices.
Theo calling you "babe", "sweetie" and "honey" feels strange if you aren't playing a feminine type.
The best place for tattoos, the beautiful large canvas that is your back, is missing!
Hopefully, this feedback will inspire and encourage you, rather than making it more daunting to come back to the project. But if not, just ignore it, and focus on your achievement of appealing to an Austen-hater :p
First of all, I LOVED this demo!! I'm totally hooked to the story and I can't wait to see what happens next! Normally, I wouldn't do this but since you so kindly asked for feedback, I have a few small suggestions to what would make this story even better.
Generally, the writing was very well done, however at one point you use the phrase "Gleam some inspiration" when I'm fairly sure the word is actually 'glean'- a very easy mistake to make but if you're keen on making it as grammatically correct as possible, this would be a great place to start!
As a trans person, I enjoyed how customizable the character options were, but i wonder weather it's entirely necessary to have seperate options to weather a character is male/female or male/female but assigned another gender at birth. Having these as different options could appear to imply that a cis man/woman is a completly different identity to being a trans man/woman, which isn't necessarily true, especially when the wording asks 'what you identify as'. Unless it'll become a key plot point later on in the story, I think it would be best to just have female, male and nonbinary options in the future. Then again, this is a very nitpicky criticism which I'm sure most people wouldn't notice. I'm also only one guy speaking for a huge community and perhaps not everyone will agree with me.
Thank you, for making such a wonderful story and I wish you all the best in finishing it :)
Hi! Im obsessed, this is just amazing so far. Welll done!!!
I just wanted to hear if this story is still in progress, is it gonna happen or is it scraped. Obviously its not finished but i want to know if i should look forward to a update or just be thankful for what we have experienced.
Hello, I just started to play your new IF and I'm enjoying it so far. I did find one typo for you to fix. The line is: __ You eyebrows draw together in confusion.
What..?
__
You instead of Your.
The first line of the passage is: "You spend hours in front of your laptop laughing and chatting with your friends."
Could you make this a template?(HTML if possible) It's so pretty! I been trying to find a template for my IF story (romance) and this fits it perfectly! I know how to do all the code and stuff, but I want to get to the fun part of writing it. It also great to know there are people out there just like me who like coding and writing! Also, great game. I love the style, and the love interest. Keep up the good work. :)
I am, finally, back to working on it now, yes. I've had a long creative drought, but am now working on rewriting chapter 1 and chapter 2 ✨ Thank you so much! 🤎
I think this is the first IF game about time travel I've played and I'm a sucker for time travel stories. The demo really hit me hard because I'm in the same situation as the MC right now. The uncertainty and feeling of failure is so strong, the MC here is relatable. Anyways! I'm so excited for the next update, you did a great job of conveying the emotions of the character and how smooth the flow of the story goes.
I cannot wait for you to update. Just played the demo and I'm in love with the character customization, but a sleeve tattoo would be great to have/or some leg tattoos. Anyway, great job, and again I can't wait for another update.
I'm so happy you enjoyed the character customisation! I'm currently working on a rewrite so there will be more options added on the next update, amongst them the option for sleeve tattoo. Thanks very much ✨
I really enjoyed this game! It was really intriguing, and I can't wait to see where it goes! But since the creator specifically asked for feedback in terms of criticism, here's mine! **MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD**
The customization aspect was really cool, and I enjoyed being able to make my character look like me was awesome! However, I noticed there was no options for weight customization. I don't really know if that's a good thing or not. It's a super sensitive issue for some people so it might be something that shouldn't be included, but if it is included, it might help some people feel better about themselves in the sense that they can be loved and be found attractive at any weight, ya know? Another thing was tattoos being grouped in with things like freckles. This might be asking for too much, but what about people with freckles and tattoos. Currently, they have to choose between the two. Totally aware this is a nitpick, but I'm trying my best to be helpful! Also, I want to talk about when the character talks about seeing things in the corner of their vision and says the line "At first you dismissed it as nothing more than stress, or your brain playing tricks on you, but the more it happens, the more you begin to wonder... You're either going certifiably insane, or[...]" So that's a joke in poor taste. I've experienced minor hallucinations as a symptom of depression before and it's frustrating when symptoms like that are used as the butt of a joke. Since you're looking for this type of feedback specifically, I know it wasn't intentional and I don't blame you, but hallucinations definitely don't make you "certifiably insane".
Glad you liked the customisation. I'm working on changing and adding more content to chapter 1, so there will be options for body type/weight in the next update. I know that it can be a sensitive issue for many, I totally understand, but I'm hoping it can be done in a positive way. I will try, at least. You will also be able to select several options for freckles, tattoos, etc. in the next update.
Thank you for the feedback on the hallucinations, that's really insightful and helpful. I hadn't even thought of it that way, but I can definitely agree that it's a joke in poor taste all things considered. It's never my intention to be offensive, but but there will always be areas where i'm somewhat ignorant, so this is exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Will rewrite that for the next update.
time travel yess >:)) i love stories like this and the way you designed everything is absolutely gorgeous!! i really love how you can choose how panicked/anxious/ect your character is, it makes them so much more relatable. the "why cant i focus?" hits sooo hard, ahdh babe. its adhd lol.
as for the mc in general, i don't think they were overly feminine, white, or cis - though this is just my singular opinion as a black enby. if possible, i would like to see more hairstyles added in the "you usually keep your hair" section - maybe an option for locs, braids, and fros?
Love a good time travel, yes 😍👌🏻 Thank you so much! ✨ I wanted MC to have a variety of "struggles" to chose from, and adhd is a pretty common one. I'm really happy it comes across relatable though, that's the highest compliment!
Thank you for the feedback, and there will definitely be more options added to chapter 1 in the new update, amongst them some more hairstyles ✨🤎
Thus far it looks really cool, I'm excited to see the future updates!
the covid depression/homework apathy hits really hard lol
tiny grammar note:
When the player character thinks "okay, [name] time to wake up now!" The comma should be after the characters name: "okay [name], time to wake up now!"
Thank you! Ugh, yeah, that's from personal experience lol. It's been rough for a lot of people, I think. Thank you for the feedback, I'll make sure I fix the grammatical error in the next update ✨🤎
Super cool game! I was so sad when I reached the end, and I'll definitely stay here for new updates!
English is not my first language, but I think I did see a gramatical error, where instead of ''you do X'' it was writen as ''do you X'', but it wasn't supposed to be a question. Im really bad remembering stuff, so I can't be more specific, my apologies.
About the MC and story in general, I don't think it was overly femenine nor cis. I am a white trans nonbinary person, so I can't really talk about poc representation, but from what I've seen in other comments, everything checks out!
What I would personaly change is the gender choosing.
Instead of
''Man
Man but was assigned Female at birth''
I would say
''Man and was assigned Male at birth
Man and was assigned Female at birth''
Just to not separate so drastically those two.
However, I think it would be easier to just say
''Trans Man
Cis Man''
I don't think what you wrote was offensive or transphobic, I felt everything was really inclusive and comfortable to read for someone who doesn''t get that much representation, I just think it would be easier and more comfortable to read as a trans person.
Thank you so much! ✨ I thought for sure I had replied to this before, but I guess that was just in my head lol. I'll see if I can find this grammatical error and fix it for the next update.
Very glad to hear it though, and thank you so much for the feedback on the gender choices. Will definitely rephrase that in the new update. I also think it's much better to just say "trans man" or "cis man" in hindsight. Really appreciate this kind of feedback! ✨🤎
Hi! I just finished playing through the demo and so far it's really good! The detailed character customization really helped bring my MC to life. It would be cool if we could select piercings as well as tattoos. I have both and they're very important to me.
Hi! ✨ I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far! I will definitely be including piercing options in the next update, so stay tuned for that. I had always intended on including them, I legitimately just... forgot! So they're coming. Thank you for the feedback ✨🤎
I've barely started so far, but I just want to say that I do have a degree in psychology, and your passage right after selecting the title is so, so accurate. That's exactly how I felt.
I've played through the demo now and as a man, the MC definitely isn't overly feminine. If anything they seem more on the masculine side. I am cis and white myself so I don't really have comments on that part.
That was amazing! Lowkey, I felt so called out in the beginning, nailed those feelings perfectly my dear. I'll be on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.
Love the game and I can't wait for more! The only thing I found offensive was that you would make us wait for more...jkjk!!! I can tell you put a lot of hard work and dedication into it and it came out great <3
Hi, I'm really looking forward to this one. You could've easily gender-locked the MC to be cis-female for a story such as this to make it simpler for you later on but you didn't, more work for you but I appreciate it as a gay man. I love the customization, I got really into it and I'm interested in seeing how the people from the Regency Era react to a guy with pink hair that's tatted up. In regards to mistakes there's only one I've managed to notice and it's the scene where my MC was enthralled by the mirror.
Hi! ✨ I'm very happy with my decision to make MC not gender locked. I honestly think I had some preconceived notions that no one but females would be interested in playing this, but I'm very happy to stand corrected! Just goes to show why we shouldn't make assumptions. I'm so glad you liked the customisation though! It's going to be so much fun to explore all the reactions. Thank you! ✨🤎
I'm really excited to see where the story goes and hope this feedback helps!
1. The MC didn't come across as partiuclarly feminine, cis, or white- then again we're only one chapter in so that might change? As a brown skinned Latina it's super important to me with customizable games that they don't feel super white-washed. Will skin color/ethnicity change the way people address or speak about you in the regency era or is that avoided?
2. As for choices in making an MC, again I feel like it's a little soon for me to have a concrete opinion about it. I'm guessing throughout the story we will be given choices/dialogue/reactions that will solidfy our character in the world. I will say the options you gave us in demo were very natural and fitting within the chapter.
3. I didn't catch any spelling errors. As for awkward phrasing I think that's more to do with me having ADHD and getting into the groove of reading, especially if someone has a particular writing style.
4. I found nothing within the chapter offensive or ignorant.
I hope everything goes well for you and you can get past any roadblocks in your mind with your writing. I feel the same when i'm writing, the constant overthinking and asking myself if what I've written is good enough. Good luck! :)
I feel that it may be an interesting, if not a bit dangerous, choice if the creators made race a factor. So rather than simply ignoring the racism back then, maybe it can be hinted at, perhaps a character has a specific relationship with race and you as the MC can change their views on race as a whole. But obviously, since you're a person of color, your opinion may have more sway than mine. What would you think of my proposition, should it be implemented, from your point of view? (Although I doubt it lol)
Personally, I wouldn't mind if the racism/race wasn't really mentioned within the game. I can understand why the author wouldn't want to write that, and have read/played games that I really enjoyed that didn't. It definitley would make it more realistic and relatable, but only if done well. As for the MC being a POC and trying to convince/change the mind of the love interest, I (personally) wouldn't want that. Having experienced a lot of conversations with bigoted people it gets really tiring trying to justify your existence (especially to people you care about). Although, that trope is definitley used in fantasy games among the races and I don't mind it as much, probably cause their not real. Thanks for being interested in my thoughts lol :)
I'm glad to hear it! It's important to me too that the game doesn't feel too white-washed. I want it to feel immersive to everyone, and certainly don't want it to be offensive in any way, but I'm sure I'll make some mistakes along the way, so I'm happy to be corrected. With that being said, no, skin colour and ethnicity won't change how you're treated in this game :)
I'm sure many people struggle with the same, but all we can do is keep writing and keep improving. There's no shortcut. Thank you for the feedback, and the sweet message! ✨🤎
For number 3, it was the same with me, I found there to be no spelling errors. One thing that would help me and maybe a few other people (mainly ADHD people) is more types of fonts. The reason I say that is because with certain kinda fonts ( for contexts me and all my ADHD friends tested this and we all have it severely, including many other things like ADD, Autism, etc.) me and my friends had a hard time reading words with certain fonts(The one the Vahnya has were some of the ones I have a hard time reading). I have no idea how that works, but if someone how It works please let me know, I am curious.
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The current demo abruptly ends just as it was about to get started, which is very unfortunate, since the premise appeals even to those of us who do not enjoy authors like Jane Austen.
Given its length (short) and status (hiatus), it feels odd to give feedback, even though it was explicitly requested. Specifically, you asked for feedback on where the MC comes across as too feminine, what additional choices would allow better representation, and whether anything was ignorant:
Hopefully, this feedback will inspire and encourage you, rather than making it more daunting to come back to the project. But if not, just ignore it, and focus on your achievement of appealing to an Austen-hater :p
I'm always coming back for you (This IF)
aaaah i'm so excited for the next update!! this is fantastic!!!
It seems to be dead
sad :((
I love the premise of this game! I'm honestly a sucker for anything Jane Austen related, so this is a really fun premise and I'm excited to see more!!
Looking forward to your next update!
i’m hooked can’t wait for an update but make sure to take your time
First of all, I LOVED this demo!! I'm totally hooked to the story and I can't wait to see what happens next! Normally, I wouldn't do this but since you so kindly asked for feedback, I have a few small suggestions to what would make this story even better.
Generally, the writing was very well done, however at one point you use the phrase "Gleam some inspiration" when I'm fairly sure the word is actually 'glean'- a very easy mistake to make but if you're keen on making it as grammatically correct as possible, this would be a great place to start!
As a trans person, I enjoyed how customizable the character options were, but i wonder weather it's entirely necessary to have seperate options to weather a character is male/female or male/female but assigned another gender at birth. Having these as different options could appear to imply that a cis man/woman is a completly different identity to being a trans man/woman, which isn't necessarily true, especially when the wording asks 'what you identify as'. Unless it'll become a key plot point later on in the story, I think it would be best to just have female, male and nonbinary options in the future. Then again, this is a very nitpicky criticism which I'm sure most people wouldn't notice. I'm also only one guy speaking for a huge community and perhaps not everyone will agree with me.
Thank you, for making such a wonderful story and I wish you all the best in finishing it :)
aaa im hookeedd i love the customisation!! i hope to see the next chapterrs <3
Pls pls pretty please tell me this isn't cancelled and it's just on hiatus, coz this is one hell of a masterpiece ✨
I always wanted to read an IF where the mc get's transported into the past generation ;)
It's on hiatus! <3
aw I see, ty.
Aghh I can't believe that's it!! Since the demo came out a year ago I expected more, I hope you haven't abandoned this!
It's currently on hiatus! :D
Hi! Im obsessed, this is just amazing so far. Welll done!!!
I just wanted to hear if this story is still in progress, is it gonna happen or is it scraped. Obviously its not finished but i want to know if i should look forward to a update or just be thankful for what we have experienced.
Xxx
SOOOOO GOOOD
Hello, I just started to play your new IF and I'm enjoying it so far. I did find one typo for you to fix. The line is:
__
You eyebrows draw together in confusion.
What..?
__
Youinstead of Your.The first line of the passage is: "You spend hours in front of your laptop laughing and chatting with your friends."
Keep on writing.
Oops! Thank you so much for spotting this and letting me know! ✨
Could you make this a template?(HTML if possible) It's so pretty! I been trying to find a template for my IF story (romance) and this fits it perfectly! I know how to do all the code and stuff, but I want to get to the fun part of writing it. It also great to know there are people out there just like me who like coding and writing! Also, great game. I love the style, and the love interest. Keep up the good work. :)
You may have found it by now, but there is a template of the theme on my profile! Thank you so much! ✨🤎
This is really good! I love the writing :) It's very nice and entertaining :)))) have a great day developer <33
Thank you ever so much! Your kind words are so encouraging ✨🤎
really hoping this gets updated in future, i know it's on hiatus but aaa
Hoping to make an update soon, I'm currently working on a rewrite ✨
oh my goodness, how exciting to hear !!
that was rlly good!!! cant wait for more :D
also the ui looks amazing
Hello kind stranger. I just want to say I love your profile picture. :)
thank you!! yours is adorable :DD
Thank you! ✨🤎
I know this is on hiatus, but are you still working on this? I hope you are because this is beautifully written.
I am, finally, back to working on it now, yes. I've had a long creative drought, but am now working on rewriting chapter 1 and chapter 2 ✨ Thank you so much! 🤎
I'm so glad that you're still working on this! I'm excited to see what happens, and I can't wait!
I know the Li's didn't appear in the demo yet but from the description, my favourite is Isobel ✨💘
Aw, yay! I haven't seen much love for Isobel yet, so I'm so happy to hear it ✨
I think this is the first IF game about time travel I've played and I'm a sucker for time travel stories. The demo really hit me hard because I'm in the same situation as the MC right now. The uncertainty and feeling of failure is so strong, the MC here is relatable. Anyways! I'm so excited for the next update, you did a great job of conveying the emotions of the character and how smooth the flow of the story goes.
Same, I relate to the MC too and struggling with my modules rn😭
I cannot wait for you to update. Just played the demo and I'm in love with the character customization, but a sleeve tattoo would be great to have/or some leg tattoos. Anyway, great job, and again I can't wait for another update.
I'm so happy you enjoyed the character customisation! I'm currently working on a rewrite so there will be more options added on the next update, amongst them the option for sleeve tattoo. Thanks very much ✨
I really enjoyed this game! It was really intriguing, and I can't wait to see where it goes! But since the creator specifically asked for feedback in terms of criticism, here's mine! **MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD**
The customization aspect was really cool, and I enjoyed being able to make my character look like me was awesome! However, I noticed there was no options for weight customization. I don't really know if that's a good thing or not. It's a super sensitive issue for some people so it might be something that shouldn't be included, but if it is included, it might help some people feel better about themselves in the sense that they can be loved and be found attractive at any weight, ya know? Another thing was tattoos being grouped in with things like freckles. This might be asking for too much, but what about people with freckles and tattoos. Currently, they have to choose between the two. Totally aware this is a nitpick, but I'm trying my best to be helpful! Also, I want to talk about when the character talks about seeing things in the corner of their vision and says the line "At first you dismissed it as nothing more than stress, or your brain playing tricks on you, but the more it happens, the more you begin to wonder... You're either going certifiably insane, or[...]" So that's a joke in poor taste. I've experienced minor hallucinations as a symptom of depression before and it's frustrating when symptoms like that are used as the butt of a joke. Since you're looking for this type of feedback specifically, I know it wasn't intentional and I don't blame you, but hallucinations definitely don't make you "certifiably insane".
Thank you! ✨
Glad you liked the customisation. I'm working on changing and adding more content to chapter 1, so there will be options for body type/weight in the next update. I know that it can be a sensitive issue for many, I totally understand, but I'm hoping it can be done in a positive way. I will try, at least. You will also be able to select several options for freckles, tattoos, etc. in the next update.
Thank you for the feedback on the hallucinations, that's really insightful and helpful. I hadn't even thought of it that way, but I can definitely agree that it's a joke in poor taste all things considered. It's never my intention to be offensive, but but there will always be areas where i'm somewhat ignorant, so this is exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Will rewrite that for the next update.
Thank you so much for your detailed feedback! ✨🤎
time travel yess >:)) i love stories like this and the way you designed everything is absolutely gorgeous!! i really love how you can choose how panicked/anxious/ect your character is, it makes them so much more relatable. the "why cant i focus?" hits sooo hard, ahdh babe. its adhd lol.
as for the mc in general, i don't think they were overly feminine, white, or cis - though this is just my singular opinion as a black enby. if possible, i would like to see more hairstyles added in the "you usually keep your hair" section - maybe an option for locs, braids, and fros?
Love a good time travel, yes 😍👌🏻 Thank you so much! ✨ I wanted MC to have a variety of "struggles" to chose from, and adhd is a pretty common one. I'm really happy it comes across relatable though, that's the highest compliment!
Thank you for the feedback, and there will definitely be more options added to chapter 1 in the new update, amongst them some more hairstyles ✨🤎
Time travel yessss !!! I enjoyed the demo ❤️
Glad I'm not the only one who enjoys a good time travel story! Thank you! ✨🤎
Thus far it looks really cool, I'm excited to see the future updates!
the covid depression/homework apathy hits really hard lol
tiny grammar note:
When the player character thinks "okay, [name] time to wake up now!" The comma should be after the characters name: "okay [name], time to wake up now!"
Thank you! Ugh, yeah, that's from personal experience lol. It's been rough for a lot of people, I think. Thank you for the feedback, I'll make sure I fix the grammatical error in the next update ✨🤎
Super cool game! I was so sad when I reached the end, and I'll definitely stay here for new updates!
English is not my first language, but I think I did see a gramatical error, where instead of ''you do X'' it was writen as ''do you X'', but it wasn't supposed to be a question. Im really bad remembering stuff, so I can't be more specific, my apologies.
About the MC and story in general, I don't think it was overly femenine nor cis. I am a white trans nonbinary person, so I can't really talk about poc representation, but from what I've seen in other comments, everything checks out!
What I would personaly change is the gender choosing.
Instead of
''Man
Man but was assigned Female at birth''
I would say
''Man and was assigned Male at birth
Man and was assigned Female at birth''
Just to not separate so drastically those two.
However, I think it would be easier to just say
''Trans Man
Cis Man''
I don't think what you wrote was offensive or transphobic, I felt everything was really inclusive and comfortable to read for someone who doesn''t get that much representation, I just think it would be easier and more comfortable to read as a trans person.
Thank you so much! ✨ I thought for sure I had replied to this before, but I guess that was just in my head lol. I'll see if I can find this grammatical error and fix it for the next update.
Very glad to hear it though, and thank you so much for the feedback on the gender choices. Will definitely rephrase that in the new update. I also think it's much better to just say "trans man" or "cis man" in hindsight. Really appreciate this kind of feedback! ✨🤎
Hi! I just finished playing through the demo and so far it's really good! The detailed character customization really helped bring my MC to life. It would be cool if we could select piercings as well as tattoos. I have both and they're very important to me.
Hi! ✨ I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far! I will definitely be including piercing options in the next update, so stay tuned for that. I had always intended on including them, I legitimately just... forgot! So they're coming. Thank you for the feedback ✨🤎
I've barely started so far, but I just want to say that I do have a degree in psychology, and your passage right after selecting the title is so, so accurate. That's exactly how I felt.
I've played through the demo now and as a man, the MC definitely isn't overly feminine. If anything they seem more on the masculine side. I am cis and white myself so I don't really have comments on that part.
That was amazing! Lowkey, I felt so called out in the beginning, nailed those feelings perfectly my dear. I'll be on the edge of my seat for the next chapter.
Love the game and I can't wait for more! The only thing I found offensive was that you would make us wait for more...jkjk!!! I can tell you put a lot of hard work and dedication into it and it came out great <3
Don't leave me waiting for long, I beg!
it was so great and damn relatable. Can't wait for more
Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it ✨
Hi, I'm really looking forward to this one. You could've easily gender-locked the MC to be cis-female for a story such as this to make it simpler for you later on but you didn't, more work for you but I appreciate it as a gay man. I love the customization, I got really into it and I'm interested in seeing how the people from the Regency Era react to a guy with pink hair that's tatted up. In regards to mistakes there's only one I've managed to notice and it's the scene where my MC was enthralled by the mirror.
"Okay, $name time to wake up now!"
Goodluck~ I love what I'm seeing so far.
edit: spelling
Hi! ✨ I'm very happy with my decision to make MC not gender locked. I honestly think I had some preconceived notions that no one but females would be interested in playing this, but I'm very happy to stand corrected! Just goes to show why we shouldn't make assumptions. I'm so glad you liked the customisation though! It's going to be so much fun to explore all the reactions. Thank you! ✨🤎
I'm really excited to see where the story goes and hope this feedback helps!
1. The MC didn't come across as partiuclarly feminine, cis, or white- then again we're only one chapter in so that might change? As a brown skinned Latina it's super important to me with customizable games that they don't feel super white-washed. Will skin color/ethnicity change the way people address or speak about you in the regency era or is that avoided?
2. As for choices in making an MC, again I feel like it's a little soon for me to have a concrete opinion about it. I'm guessing throughout the story we will be given choices/dialogue/reactions that will solidfy our character in the world. I will say the options you gave us in demo were very natural and fitting within the chapter.
3. I didn't catch any spelling errors. As for awkward phrasing I think that's more to do with me having ADHD and getting into the groove of reading, especially if someone has a particular writing style.
4. I found nothing within the chapter offensive or ignorant.
I hope everything goes well for you and you can get past any roadblocks in your mind with your writing. I feel the same when i'm writing, the constant overthinking and asking myself if what I've written is good enough. Good luck! :)
I feel that it may be an interesting, if not a bit dangerous, choice if the creators made race a factor. So rather than simply ignoring the racism back then, maybe it can be hinted at, perhaps a character has a specific relationship with race and you as the MC can change their views on race as a whole. But obviously, since you're a person of color, your opinion may have more sway than mine. What would you think of my proposition, should it be implemented, from your point of view? (Although I doubt it lol)
Personally, I wouldn't mind if the racism/race wasn't really mentioned within the game. I can understand why the author wouldn't want to write that, and have read/played games that I really enjoyed that didn't. It definitley would make it more realistic and relatable, but only if done well. As for the MC being a POC and trying to convince/change the mind of the love interest, I (personally) wouldn't want that. Having experienced a lot of conversations with bigoted people it gets really tiring trying to justify your existence (especially to people you care about). Although, that trope is definitley used in fantasy games among the races and I don't mind it as much, probably cause their not real. Thanks for being interested in my thoughts lol :)
I'm glad to hear it! It's important to me too that the game doesn't feel too white-washed. I want it to feel immersive to everyone, and certainly don't want it to be offensive in any way, but I'm sure I'll make some mistakes along the way, so I'm happy to be corrected. With that being said, no, skin colour and ethnicity won't change how you're treated in this game :)
I'm sure many people struggle with the same, but all we can do is keep writing and keep improving. There's no shortcut. Thank you for the feedback, and the sweet message! ✨🤎
For number 3, it was the same with me, I found there to be no spelling errors. One thing that would help me and maybe a few other people (mainly ADHD people) is more types of fonts. The reason I say that is because with certain kinda fonts ( for contexts me and all my ADHD friends tested this and we all have it severely, including many other things like ADD, Autism, etc.) me and my friends had a hard time reading words with certain fonts(The one the Vahnya has were some of the ones I have a hard time reading). I have no idea how that works, but if someone how It works please let me know, I am curious.
Congratulations on the demo release! 'twas a fun read! Can't wait for more <3
Thank you so much! ✨🤎 I'm so happy you liked it!